Wooden Balls anyone?

I always find it hilarious on TV when someone gets thumped on the coconut, falls off a trampoline or crashes off a roof, well, at the weekend, after getting shit-faced at the company golf day, I lost my balance while wrestling my good friend in his back yard, and bonked my skull on the concrete. It’s a definite problem, being a twelve year old kid trapped in a forty-six year old mans body.

Of course, why we all ended up in his back yard after a long day of drinking is just historical musing, but it gave me another chance to get in his wifes bad books and be banned from family barbecues and parties for another fourteen years.

Well, the shiner has moved on a bit now and spread across the eye and I look like a right ruffian, that's the problem with being a kid, always something hanging over your head, always an incident to shy away from. I'm always surprised, but Karen puts up with me quite well when I act the idiot, normally it's when booze (other than beer or wine) is involved in vast quantities and the little trapped David wants to fight to the surface.

The obvious villian of the piece was my Korean buddy Yong, once again he was tempting us along the golf course with a bottle of Johnny Walker he had in his golf bag, plus many rounds of Woody's which are just alcoholic pop and very dangerous, and of course many of the alchoholic substance my hockey friend calls ‘quiche’ (Coors light, - geddit, real men don’t eat quiche… nah, I don’t geddit at all, I mean, real men don’t wear 'plaid' and certainly don’t drink ‘urine’ which could be good names for a light beer, so let’s just call it Coors light and get on with it) anyway, there was a lot of 'that' as well.

Eventually it was just inevitable that the Weldon wheels would fall off, and by golly they did, fortunately it was mostly after the crowds had dispersed this year, or at least I think so, although it's been rumoured I was trying to drum up support to get the golf organizer bumped off, but that sort of sounds like something I'd do when I was sober....

No harm done however, just a bump on the apple and a black eye.

That’s my Apple however and that's really not funny at all.