Twenty Minute Shag

It was September 1981, I was at Edge Hill teacher training College, reading Mathematics and Art and learning how to Kayak.

The campus swimming pool was our venue, Tuesday nights, training kayaks and lots of time to practice being upside down and drowning. It was inexpensive and an hour and a half of eskimo rolls and swimming with eyeballs full of chlorinated water always resulted in a great yearning for a pint in the college bar.

A couple of pints of Double Diamond and that great swim weary, relax feel, would always go down well, and lets be honest, we were the college Kayak guys and gals. Wacky swim hair, lots of laughs and beer, our own niche in the bar.

The memory of that one night will stay with me until I die, the cute, young funky girl who came in with her friend after a night out in Ormskirk, her drift over to the kayak group and the grabbing of me, the old blonde guy (I was almost 24 and she was 17) and that relaxed feeling of it all.

"I've had a bottle of wine and we had to hitch back"

"I've been kayaking for an hour, wanna half of lager?"

She accepted, I bought her a lager and she plonked herself on my knee and we had a giggle.

About five minutes went by and I squeezed her boob.

"Stop that, it's making me really randy"

How can any man follow an instruction like that?

Within fifteen minutes, much to her mates annoyance, we were in her dorm room, having a great shag. I was back in the bar about half an hour later with the team and she was in her dorm room sleeping off her wine.

It was funny at the time, because she was megga cute, was in my Art group and seemed to really like me when she was sober, but, unfortunately it was a one off thing, never repeated.

However, when I look at the timing of it all, I believe that the evil Karen came along about the same time, typical of the girl over the last twenty-five years, always stopping me from having sex with other women...