Thank You.

Just a thank you for the four individuals that have helped me to progress so far in this life besides my family.

In order.

Peter Leece. (sorry if I spelled your name wrong) but, if you had not been there, I would have gone for sure. Phht. Lights out.

Susan Liderth (that's the right spelling and I still find the idea of sex in the back of the Austin Maxi exciting, perhaps one day I'll get my Supertramp albums back) - like Pete, if you had not been there at that point in my life I would have vanished.

Nancy Baker (If a parallel life was possible we'd probably have three or four kids by now) but you know that's what fate is all about. God knows what would have happened if you hadn't found me in the swimming pool that night. The time in California was a magical time for me and perhaps you should have said yes in Balboa park.

Well, perhaps I should have asked properly.

Karen Gore (well, it's you and me against the world - yes, I love ya, and I really like smashing my bits against yours, and I hope I will die with you, but not soon) mind you, if you die first I'll still need good sex..and I'll search it out and find it even if I'm in my nineties.

Oh, and a special note to my old friend Paul Martin (no, not the ex-PM of Canada) who introduced me to Karen. A good mate and an excellent piss head.

Funny old life.

Radio City

They've been watching bald eagles and dancing Vancouver men on the web with enormous online hits and opportunities for advertising, seems about time that we all grabbed a piece of the bandwidth.

What could I do?

Well, I pick my nose a lot, but a lot of people do. At least my nose-picking habit has improved and reduced over the years, in fact it's developed into a pick and flick habit, not a pick and consume one. There's no longer a need for my mum to crack me over the back of the head on the bus anymore for eating a big green, tremendously juicy bogey.

Ok, fair doos. I was twenty seven at the time.

But at least there was fibre in my diet.

So a Nose picking live-cam would not work, plus if anyone set up a workstation action cab in my cell at the salt mines there would be long periods of inactivity or mouse shuffling and many occasions during the day when I'm just not there.

This includes times during the day when I am.

Short pause, allow reader to realise that even when I am present, I am often not.

So, I have nothing to offer, but, I am working on it.

And when I know what it is.

You'll be the first to know.

TTFN.

Of all the things to forget...

Its been six months and I have not told you.

Something that was so important in my life has gone, vanooshed, does not exist any more. Phht!

Well, that's not quite true. The VW Corrado is probably happy and well in it's new home in Manitoba.

I placed an ad in the Auto Trader, $3400 as is, brakes no good, leaky exhaust manifold, dodgy half shaft, missing heat shield, take it, please, take it.

Many phone calls (in fact a friend of mine, the crazy Kashman is still calling, faking an indian voice and asking if the wolkswagen is still for sale) and then on a Friday evening, I received what I thought was a prank call from a couple of guys from Winnipeg.

They flew in to Toronto on the Saturday, took a sixty dollar cab out to Oshawa, Kicked the tires and then thrust $3000 cash in an envelope at me.

They drove away and it was gone after six good years.

Gone like the old wooden Whitby bridge gone.

It was as simple as that, my loss was massive, I reached for the bottle again because I was no longer a true Klingon.

I drank.

I drank more.

I bought another Honda.

and I continue to drink.

Living on an Island.

I was thinking about the top ten albums I would take to a place of solitude, sort of the Fools version of “Desert Island Discs” that would keep me happy for the rest of my days in my gravel pit on snake-belly Island.

A few simple rules were applied,

ten different artists.
no best of or greatest hits.
no double albums.

Here they are, in no particular order :

Band on the Run. Paul McCartney and Wings.
The Bridge. Ace of Base.
Reach the Beach. The Fixx.
Tubular Bells II. Mike Oldfield.
Wish you were Here. Pink Floyd.
Crime of the Century. Supertramp.
Magical Mystery Tour. The Beatles
Don’t Shoot Me I’m only the Piano Player. Elton John.
Pinups. David Bowie.
Bridge over Troubled Water. Simon and Garfunkel.

So, there it is. Probably not definitive as I can imagine having a wobbler just before climbing on the boat and stupidly demanding a Kylie Minogue album in exchange for Floyd.

Spending the rest of my time missing :

“We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears, wish you were here”

While listening to :

“La la la, la la la la la, La la la. La la la la la”


They don’t write them like they used to.